In deference to the atheists in the audience I feel we must keep Elvis out of Christmas in order to placate the ACLU, or at least give equal position to Kenny G.
Um, Big D, I am afraid you have confused the Christian holiday Christmas with the lower economic development holiday known as chrimus. Don't worry it is a common mistake as the two holidays share many attributes such as timing and decorating trees and such. I am sure, however, we won't have any problems out of the ACLU or Kenny G.
There are many things that are identified only with chrimus as I am sure the posters to this board will articulate.
1. Putting together a new bicycle (with training wheels) from scratch before the sun rises; you cannot begin before midnight and you must be slap ass drunk for the entire exercise and have no more than 20% of the parts left over after completion.
2. Having achieved the appropriate level of slap ass drunk and completed the task at No.1, you now realise that your elderly auntie's present remains hidden under the spare bed. The very same bed in fact, on which the said auntie is currently asleep.
You and your partner's mission is to enter the spare room, locate the item at the back of one of the four (over-full) storage drawers under the bed, remove it (complete with it's crinkly plastic bag) and exit the room without giggling, tripping, falling over, spilling your drinks or waking the occupant.
(she never said anything the next morning but... )
I haven't clicked on any of your links, JUJ, but it doesn't matter. This thread gets a big laugh at almost every post. They started with the November 28th post. Keep 'em coming.
4. Talking smack on the playground about all the great and wonderful things you are going to get for chrimus and then having to dread going back to school to face the music when you don't get none of that shit, only to find out nobody else got none of the shit they bragged about either.
5. Teaching the greedy so-snd-so a lesson by wrapping a single chocolate mouse in a 3 x 3 x 3 ft box (with filling to add weight), with a monster bow on top, while the real present hides in a tiny box right at the back of the tree. I don't want much myself...
6. While wrapping presents in front of the fireplace and requisite carefully hung stockings, becoming quite noisily overcome with the, erm... spirit of the season and getting busted by a groggy three year old who from that day forward always looked at department store Santa's with a jaundiced eye.
Comments
There are many things that are identified only with chrimus as I am sure the posters to this board will articulate.
My personal favorite
1. Putting together a new bicycle (with training wheels) from scratch before the sun rises; you cannot begin before midnight and you must be slap ass drunk for the entire exercise and have no more than 20% of the parts left over after completion.
Craig
(A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund)
You and your partner's mission is to enter the spare room, locate the item at the back of one of the four (over-full) storage drawers under the bed, remove it (complete with it's crinkly plastic bag) and exit the room without giggling, tripping, falling over, spilling your drinks or waking the occupant.
(she never said anything the next morning but... )
sorry, fresh out of chrimus links
Please, allow me
Santa's got a big old bag
I don't want much myself...
Gonna need therapy for chrimus link
edit:
I am officially changing the link for this post
Hag Hanukkah Sameach!
Deck the har with bough of hary, fa ra ra . . .
We are conducting a campaign to replace the other holiday feel good movies with this film as the holiday feel bad movie of choice.
Read the details about I want me this cat I found