The most annoying album cover in history

OK, I'm a 'southern girl' instead of a 'southern boy,' but this seemed the appropriate category to post a message with nothing at all to say, other than getting something off my chest:

That hideously annoying cover of Amanda Blank's CD is just about enough to make me quit checking the 'new releases' on AmieStreet. (If I were a man and a woman with that sneer told me "I love you," I would run for cover as fast as I could.)

Apologies to Amanda Blank fans.
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Comments

  • Well, kez, this review doesn't make her sound any more appetizing than the album art.
  • I almost bought that when it was under $2. I listened to the samples and thought not bad, but not great or compelling. Sounds like a less provocative version of Peaches.

    I dunno, maybe she is trying to play the Chrissie Hynde angle, but less authentically and artfully.
  • edited August 2009
    I always thought the Resident's "God In 3 Persons" album cover was most excellent.

    However, one night I left it out on a table and forgot that the two older ladies who do our housecleaning were going to be there the next day. When I came home the next day at noon I walked into the family room in time to see their horrified faces rise up to greet me after their close mutual perusal of said cover.

    I was kind of stunned, and stammered, "Err, I guess you have to listen...to it...ummmm...to understand it...uhhhh..."
  • Ha! I looked up that cover, fairly porn-looking!
  • rastamon, they were probably fearful that you were going to force them into a re-enactment of it on the spot.
  • Mommio, oh my gosh, I hate that album cover even more after reading that review!
  • It was pretty hilarious in the end...though my wife didn't think so. My daughters were still pretty young at the time and I kept albums like that and the Blind Faith one stashed.
  • We have artwork of nudes around the house, but they are framed....so clearly, not porn that older cleaning ladies will goggle at. (that's a joke, in case it wasn't clear....just frame your album and it will be Art with a capital A)

    now I will also have to look up the Blind Faith!
  • edited August 2009
    The Blind Faith cover is playing a big part in the Don Pedro story. So are you - you've turned out to be an avatar of the Great Goddess, and you dance a mean tango.
  • I'm hesitant to even bring it up, that's how much I hate this album cover and the period of jazz it represents, but Herbie Mann's "Push Push" is as bad as it gets. Good god, please, nobody post an image of it.
  • edited August 2009
    Good god, please, nobody post an image of it.

    Seriously. That wasn't a covert invitation.
  • Supertramp's Indelibly Stamped is also rather...not subtle.
  • edited August 2009
    jonah, that was pretty bad.
  • Jonah, I just had to look it up. I saw two different covers, so I'm assuming you are referring to the one in the buff with his instrument resting on his shoulder. :)

    It is pretty intimidating. Crikey!
  • Jonah, I just had to look it up. I saw two different covers, so I'm assuming you are referring to the one in the buff with his instrument resting on his shoulder. :)

    It is pretty intimidating. Crikey!

    That's the one. Guh.
  • edited August 2009
    OK, someone has to do this :

    Don't knock that cover: it was an attempt - perhaps rather inept - to remind the world that jazz is about the body, and it's about raunch, and it's about other stuff than those terribly terribly dry and boring blue-note look at us, we're serious men covers that set the standard at that time. The music was all right, too. I purchased this while living in Martinique in the early 70s; there wasn't much jazz available, so I picked it up, and found it very enjoyable. Along with an early Wailers collection, the Dead's 'Wake of the Flood' and Hancock's Mwandishi, (along with a lot of island beguine) it was the sound track to my son's birth and early days. Could have done worse.
  • edited August 2009
    dry and boring blue-note look at us, we're serious men covers

    You can't knock the Blue Note covers!!!!
    They're design classics.
    They make me want to buy more Jazz just so I can have those coooooool covers.

    But then I come to my senses and remember that a little Jazz goes a loooong way for me.

    Also, Jazz is about the body and the raunch??
    Really?
    I must have listened to the wrong sort of Jazz then, because that makes it sound more appealing :-)
  • The word 'jazz' (which may be derived from 'jism', which means sperm) was first associated with baseball, and meant putting pep into the play. It later was used for music that you could dance to. There is a strong association with sex, and in the early days it was considered a word not to be used in polite company. (This is Wikudition, that is to say seeming erudition based on a quick look at Widipedia).

    Jazz was essentially dance music until Bebop; it was (mis)led into scholasticism by a covey of intellectuals and college geeks who packaged it in those despicably tasteful Blue Note covers that should be an abomination to punks, boppers, juvenile delinquents and roadrunners everywhere. (There is a special circle of hell reserved for Reid Miles and other members of the accursed race of graphic designers).

    Some of the musicians were dragged into it for a while, but when Davis heard the Keith Richards quote - "Mainly, we play for the feet" - he saw the light and hired a Motown bass-player. The world came right-side up again and Blue Note went bust.
  • edited August 2009
    Don't knock that cover: it was an attempt - perhaps rather inept - to remind the world that jazz is about the body, and it's about raunch, and it's about other stuff than those terribly terribly dry and boring blue-note look at us, we're serious men covers that set the standard at that time.

    You need to look at more Bluenote covers. For every "serious" album cover you find, I'll find two that aren't taking themselves very seriously. It is kinda neat to find someone, however, who doesn't like the BN covers (which I do love). I'd like to hear a more detailed explanation of why you don't like them, referring, perhaps, to specific covers in particular, but also an overall opinion.
    p.s. That request isn't some sort of faux-invitation for some ambush debate about it; I'm genuinely interested to hear your opinion. Hanging out on jazz forums like I do, it's a rare thing to hear that someone doesn't like the BN covers.


    edit: Oh my god, I just noticed you told people not to knock the Push Push cover. Whatever the intentions of the creators of that cover, the result was an embarrassing watermark in the development of jazz marketing. The derision that cover has generated both from inside and outside the jazz circle necessarily outweighs any good intentions they may have had. Big time.
    Jazz was essentially dance music until Bebop; it was (mis)led into scholasticism by a covey of intellectuals and college geeks who packaged it in those despicably tasteful Blue Note covers

    I'm sure the musicians creating be-bop at the time would've been tickled pink to learn that Minton's was considered the epicenter of music intellectualism. Or are you talking about the label & producers (and not the musicians)? Let me tell you, aside from the fact that BN was a label that paid musicians well and treated them right, those old BN titles are still generating revenue for the musicians and their estates. And people could dance to it. You want to find a time when the music starting getting over-serious, you'll have to search for a date later than Alfred Lion's imprint on the scene.
  • Based on not liking the BN covers and defending the other monstrosity and with due respect to a fine old Jazz/Blues tradition, I think TimMason should henceforth be known as...

    BlindTimMason
  • edited August 2009
    Tell me what you think of this one - or this one.
  • First one's a vast improvement.
    But you'd still need to be careful, she could have somebody's eye out.

    Second one looks like i should recognise it.
    I think from some 70s/80s rock album cover.
    But probably both based on an older original.

    ...both still in the 'going blind' territory though ;-)
  • edited August 2009
    miliejackson.jpg

    I have hated that album cover since the first moment I saw it.
  • edited August 2009
    @ xtrev, Tim,
    Looks like a Vargas print from Playboy.
  • If we're talking sexual covers, the cover to The Black Crows "Amorica" has to be in the discussion. As a teenage boy with a SPIN subscription I was more than a little surprised to see a full page ad of that cover.

    As for Tim's second link, it reminds me of The Fratellis:

    Fratellis.jpg?t=1249913640

    Craig
  • That Millie Jackson cover is gross, esp with the expression on her face!
  • xtrev - where's the improvement? That she's a she, and he's a he?

    jonahpwll - sure you can dance to bebop. When push comes to push, if you can't dance to it, it isn't music. But there was a lot of talk about how bebop could *not* be danced to, and that its undancability was a good thing. Who talked that talk?


    billyjoebob - I think that's probably the case: Mann was a buddy of Heffner's apparently.
  • The 'she' vs 'he' thing is one obvious improvement for me, yes.
    But it helps that she's attractive, whereas he looks like a fairly ordinary bloke, who, if he was much hairier, could have called his album 'Plush Plush'.
  • edited August 2009
    jonahpwll - sure you can dance to bebop. When push comes to push, if you can't dance to it, it isn't music. But there was a lot of talk about how bebop could *not* be danced to, and that its undancability was a good thing. Who talked that talk?

    Probably the same person who told you cigarettes won't hurt you. And don't say 'when push comes to push' on this thread.
    But it helps that she's attractive, whereas he looks like a fairly ordinary bloke, who, if he was much hairier, could have called his album 'Plush Plush'.

    This was exactly the kind of thing I was afraid would happen if I bought the album up. My bad; I knew better.
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