That's pretty harsh

thomnottom

Ouch, when TMT really takes someone down, they can do an excellent job. From their half star review of the new Pharrell album:

When I was YouTubein’ different record-cleaning techniques the other day, I came across this wood glue technique for removing contaminating particles from the groove. It’s actually a fairly innocuous process, and it turns out that when you peel off the glue, it retains its shape as an imprint of the LP — neat! But of course, keeping the glue copy would be stupid since it’d make an inversion of the grooves, not an identical pressing, right? Well, with his second solo album, G I R L, Pharrell Williams proves that you can indeed make replicas of your favorite records with these flaccid wood glue leftovers; all it requires is couple Billboard #1 pastiches and something like Play-Doh to re-invert the grooves of the wood glue imprint.

Considering this guy was on that rapey "Blurred Lines" song and puts together lines like "Make the pussy just gush/ Make the pussy just gush/ Make the pussy just gush/ Make it, make it, just gush/ Make it, just gush/ I make the pussy just gush/ I make it, just gush" I'm fine with the rating and never listening to it.

amclark2

I'm absolutely going to try that wood glue technique though; more because it looks like fun to peel of that sheet of glue than anything. I wonder what you get if you really do try to play the glue?

Germanprof

"neoliberal happiness" is an amusing genre tag.

kargatron

amclark2, as I read thom's post, I immediately thought - wonder if Christian Marclay ever used such copies in performance?

cafreema

It appears G I R L is going to get slammed across the board:

The rest of G I R L is fine until the exact moment you’ve heard it one too many times. Then you might suddenly feel like never putting it on again. It’s as if G I R L is implanted with an auto-destruct device that instantly eradicates the record from your brain the moment it runs out of quick-release pleasure tablets to administer. Because beyond fleeting pleasure, G I R L has little else to offer.

Of course it will be the biggest album of the year as well.

Craig

jackedUPjazz

Full disclosure I like Happy at least I do right now.

Come the summer, you won't be able to find a nightclub, house party, pep rally or 2 or 3 dudes standing around on the corner where this song isn't playing.

By then, I will probably be trying to pull my ears off so I can't hear it anymore.

Pharrell is entitled to his propers for coming up with this hook. But that's the problem, this isn't a full song, it is the bridge to a song. Why didn't they develop this out into a full composition (my guess is some sombitch from the record company was standing behind him looking over his shoulder holding a check with a lot of zeroes talking about hurry up). And you kids don't even know you have been given half a song.

Back in the day you had to come correct. Now this is a muffuckin song and some pimped out ass rags too.

Germanprof

develop this out into a full composition

I thought that was not the way it works any more. Now where's that link to that article in the Atlantic or somewhere about how "composition" now means you need a hook every seven seconds and then you hire some random person to stand in a booth and make up words by free association until they kind of fit the beat that the Norwegian dudes made and then you make [insert famous sexy person here] sing it? Isn't that how it all gets made now? As the first step to rapid decomoposition so that you have to buy the next one to get the first one out of your head?

Doofy

Not quite as epic a takedown, but in the neighborhood

you pretty much had to be a Metheny fan to value the over-reverberant, over-amplified, perpetually droning waves of sound that the guitarist and his Unity Group mercilessly churned out for more than two hours, without intermission. Surely Metheny admirers had a great deal to celebrate, for the guitarist, as always, was generous with his services and profuse in his production of notes. And more notes. And more notes.

Usually a simpatico critic, Howard seems to go out of his way to get his digs in here. Slurs of choice include caterwauling, wallpaper, and even (gasp!) Kenny G. I guess Metheny just brings it out in people.

(Characteristic of this reviewer, there are polite nods to the "real" jazz players in the line-up. I do think Orchestra Hall is not a great venue for jazz, although it should work better for a larger ensemble like this.)

jonahpwll

I think ending a review with the sentence "what was the point of it all?" pretty much sums it up.

cafreema

Imagine Dragons were in town yesterday (apparently):

Watching Imagine Dragons is like if the Planetarium was a restaurant but the only food they served was Rock N' Roll.

Craig

amclark2

Is that harsh, or a complicated way to say they rocked?

cafreema

Based on the rest of the article, it's harsh.

e.g., when discussing an opening act there is this section:

Although skilled and adeptly showing their worldly ways using a noted reggae influence, their creativity proved too much for Dragonheads like myself as we yearned for a performance with less talent and a carefully crafted and easily marketed sense of emotion.

Also, the descriptions for each of the three performers:

Feet thudded rhythmically to the sound of the powerful kick drum as Nico Vega dazzled the crowd like some sort of a hybrid of Bjork and Tool with the rock sensibilities of Led Zeppelin.

Dark and rhythmic, they were a sort of brilliant hybrid of Bjork meets Tool meets Nine Inch Nails or maybe Led Zeppelin.

It was beautiful - like Muse on quaaludes, or maybe Tool combined with Coldplay mixed with Bjork.

Craig

choiceweb0pen0

Rolling Stone's 500 Worst Reviews according to one guy anyway.