Could this Be the Worst Album in the History of the World?

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Comments

  • New under "Jazz" at eMusic:
    Best White Noise For Baby Sleep - Loopable With No Fade

    With super-cute, royalty-free baby:





  • Tagging it as "jazz" makes sense, though. Conventional wisdom these days is that only hipsters can be into "ambient," but babies can't be hipsters because they're not old enough to grow facial hair.
  • Royalty-free baby. Right after this shot, I imagine they switched off to the pink hat.
  •  

    - Sorry . . .
  • Passing Wind album cover
    Includes a single smooth jazz tune, running time 1:12, also titled "Passing Wind." Yeah, I know, grow up...
  • edited June 2017
    We have a new champ. This is the top new jazz release of the week at eMusic (Probably also dance, reggae, etc)


  •  httpsf4bcbitscomimga0495105957_14jpg

    - Featuring the following:
    Beat Presley
    Elvis Elton
    John Zeppelin
    Floyd Bieber
    Lady Gees
    Bruno Springsteen
    Houston Dion
    Queen Madonna
    Mariah Lennon
    Leonard Bowie
    Britney McCartney
    Joel West
    Kanye Eminem
    Frank Collins
    Phil Sinatra
    Jackson Carey
    Bruce Mars
    Led Justin
    Bee Gaga
    Billy Swift
    Julio Spears
    Rod Iglesias
    Stewart Collins
    David Cohen
    Taylor Brooks
  •   

    My Goodness !
  • edited September 2017
    New Restaurant Music  Ambient Jazz Smooth Jazz for Cafe  Restaurant Relax by Instrumental
    "New Restaurant Music – Ambient Jazz, Smooth Jazz for Cafe & Restaurant, Relax"

    Much-anticipated new album from the prestigious "Luxurious Relaxation Zone" label...One of the fine Jazz new releases on eMusic this week



  • edited September 2017
    The problem is that there are many, many other similar albums, including Restaurant Music!!
  • There are many contenders for this prestigious title amongst this week's jazz releases from emusic. I gave up counting Halloween albums when I reached 24. IMO everyone of those would be a candidate. 
  • We're not seeing those Halloween selections yet - something to look forward to!

    I am forming a theory where these "ambient jazz lounge", etc, compilations are geared to pick up on Spotify search terms used by people looking for background music. All the music is royalty-free; therefore whatever pennies you earn are free of overhead. Haven't yet worked out the part of the theory where you get onto the streaming services at low or no cost...
  • edited September 2017
     httpsf4bcbitscomimga4133916903_14jpg 
    https://bandcamp.com/tag/halloween?artist=1651895355

    - Not as bad as it looks . . . ;)
  • edited January 2018
    httpsd2htg16wag384pcloudfrontneteMusicrestcataloggetReleaseCoverreleaseId974348width800
    :)
    - Came up searching for Matmos . . .
  • I reckon that must be a good contender for this thread's title, BN, just from that cover....
  • I wonder if it features his big hit Green Rondo À La Turkey
  • edited February 2018

    I almost recommend listening to a couple of the samples. Hard to characterize what's going on with that keyboard
  • The problem at the moment is that eMusic has so many similar albums, all of which could be a contender here!
  • @greg Too true, but I thought "Dale Burbeck" pushed this one over the top. I'm sure some fresher outrage is coming soon
  • edited February 2018
    These days if you try to search emusic by genre and look for ambient music you get an impressive collection of the worst albums in the history of the world. (By taking ambient out of electronic and lumping it with New Age and "instrumental" they have guaranteed that you mostly get endless pages of "relax noises for Yoga" with the occasional instrumental metal album, and none of what I think of under ambient music.)
  • Take Me To The Alley
    Compare and contrast: Gregory Porter's fine album of a couple of years ago...



    ...New from our fiends at Rehegoo USA



  • OK, they are just baiting me now. Note track titles...I haven't had the nerve to listen to the samples yet.

    PS, can't upload images from the forum for some reason...Had to upload and link to imgur 
  • edited February 2018
    Doofy said:

    PS, can't upload images from the forum for some reason...Had to upload and link to imgur 
    It hasn't worked since the last upgrade by @eythian , I wrote a note about it but was left with the impression that I was the only one missing it.

    My two cents worth of logic tells me that it is meant to work, but something went wrong in the upgrade process.
  • Doh, knew I was forgetting to do something. Will try to look into it this weekend.
  • Doofy said:


    OK, they are just baiting me now. Note track titles...I haven't had the nerve to listen to the samples yet.

    PS, can't upload images from the forum for some reason...Had to upload and link to imgur 
    It must have been someone's last day at work choosing album art.
  • This is a sad reflection upon what eMusic has become!
  • Well, that's not entirely fair - most of these fluffbucket-lounge and "smooth jazz for restaurants" albums are also available on Amazon and iTunes too (though for slightly-higher prices). In the past, those sites did what eMusic didn't do, namely curate new-release listings in order to keep stuff like this off their home page, hidden away so that you had to explicitly search for them. But eMusic is doing that now, right? So if anything, eMusic has gotten better about this.
    These records are more of a sad reflection on what music in general has become, rather than eMusic specifically, but even then, there have always been albums like these. And the only reason there are more of them now is because the combination of laptop DAWs and the internet makes them ridiculously cheap/easy to produce and distribute.
    I shall remove myself from the soapbox now.
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